I had the fortunate opportunity to be at my girlfriend’s office (Behavior Specialist at a Middle School) today and witnessed some kids bullying a student and then proceeding to becoming angry with a teacher (my girlfriend’s friend) who attempted to point out their less than exemplary behavior. I was shocked with my observation of this event because for the most part I still see these types of behaviors, especially while I was still working in the corporate environment a couple of years ago. Of course these days I don’t see it as much since I am usually speaking with more ore less real professionals and/or mature adults and because I attempt to place myself only in environments that are somewhat calm, controlled, and professional.
So..back to the experience…. It was to my surprise that my girlfriend left me alone with one of the students who was being so mischevious. Since I was to be alone with this kid for a couple of minutes, and since I knew our world is still rife with people who act like this, I thought I would take the opportunity to maybe influence the future. So I took a chance with this young lad while he was still impressionable, and decided to perhaps shed some light on his actions, and so I asked him why he was acting this way. He didn’t give me a clear answer and actually responded with more attitude than he had before he entered the room. I tried again and he quipped some rude remark in haste to shut up the “old anonymous guy”. So, after a couple of seconds, I tried once more and calmly asked him…”Did you know that the world for the most part (the intelligent portion of course),sees being an angry and negative person as synonymous with being unintelligent and powerless”. He, obviosly said “what’? And I calmly repeated but in a different way…..”The world views people who are angry and negative as people who are for the most part unintelligent and powerless….WEAK!”.
The student’s eyes grew and he looked as though he was about to do something, but then something happened, the tension slowly dissapated and he appeared to really get what I was saying.
We sat in silence for the next 10 minutes and then got up to leave when his parents arrived. Before he got outside the door the student quietley turned around and said…”Thank you.” I was so surprised. No crying, no temper tantrum, no anger…just understanding.
This child got it…he understood that anger and negativity are unintelligent and powerless ways to react to situations.
Moral of the story. Sometimes children do come to us more highly evolved than adults, and if children can understand this…so can “mature” adults.
This idea applies not just to bullying students, but to the whole lot of us. There are many “mature adults” out there who for whatever reason, seem to have chips on their shoulders and remain constantly in a mental state of negativity and in a continual disposition of anger….you know who they are. You might know one or two or three of them, heck…you may even be that person yourself (hopefully not of course).
Below are some great ideas to share with your friends or family who can still do a little bit of growing up.
Keeping Yourself Positive
By: Brian Tracy
The most important thing you do for your success is to take control of the suggestive elements in your environment. Be sure that what you are seeing and listening to is consistent with the goals you want to achieve.
Listen Your Way to Success
Listen to educational audio programs in your car. The average person drives 12,000 to 25,000 miles per year which works out to between 500 and 1,000 hours per year that the average person spends in his or her car. You can become an expert in your field by simply listening to educational audio programs as you drive from place to place.
Take Courses in Your Field
Attend seminars given by experts in your field. Take additional courses and learn everything you possibly can. Learn from the experts. Ask them questions, write them letters, read their books, read their articles and listen to people with proven track records in the area in which you want to be successful.
Get Around the Right People
Associate only with positive, success-oriented people. Get around winners. As we say, fly with the eagles. You can’t fly with the eagles if you keep scratching with the turkeys. Get away from the go-nowhere types and above all, get away from negative people. Get away from negative coworkers. If you’ve got a negative boss, seriously consider changing jobs. Associating on a regular basis with negative people is enough in itself to condemn you to a life of underachievement, frustration and failure. Associate only with positive people. Get around winners.
Let us Begin Being Intelligent and Powerful People. Cause We Can.